A wild journey through Motherhood, Womanhood, Marriage and life as a Latina. Stop by the Motherhood Cantina with your drink of choice (Coffee for this mama) and let's chat about all things Life, Jesus & Craziness!
“Motherhood. Powered by love, sustained by coffee.”
Welcome back to my blogging journey! This is going to be a wild but awesome ride for me. I am currently contributing to a local site so I felt like I needed to expand my own brand and what I have learned so far, and thus came- Motherhood Cantina.
About Motherhood Cantina
I chose the name, Motherhood Cantina, because it felt like it said everything I write about. Motherhood because I am now a mother to THREE little blessings! So you can imagine, my entire world revolves around 3 little hearts 24/7. But with that, I am learning so much about myself in my new identity. I’m learning new things about being a woman, a friend, a sister, a child of God and of course, a WIFE.
Now, Cantina. Technically “cantina” translates to bar/saloon in English however I thought it was fitting for 2 reasons: 1. I needed a Spanish flare since a lot of my posts may be bilingual and 2. A bar, brewery or winery, (whatever your favorite is, mine is a coffee shop) a place where people gather to have a drink or food and vent, forget, celebrate, etc. and that’s exactly what I want Motherhood Cantina to be. A place where mothers, women, sisters different and alike can gather and share experiences, stories, ideas and feel like they are not alone in whatever season they may be in. Life is HARD and sometimes we just need that little place to go where it’ll make it less hard, even if it’s for a minute.
Let’s face it being a mom is hard. No matter what kind of mom you are. Whether it be a SAHM (like me) or a working mom, or a work from home mom, a step-mom, a foster mom, etc. It’s freakin’ hard work! I’ve come to accept that my sanity will never be the same but my kids have been completely worth every season of life we’ve gone through. AND LET ME TELL YOU, I’ve gone through many, but one that really sticks out is a time where I ask myself “What is my purpose in life if I’m just a mom?”
I’m still young…
Whenever I discuss this question with myself or with someone else, I usually always hear the same answer- “You’re still young.” or “You have plenty of time to figure it out.” or my fave, “You can still go to school and work while being a mom.” And while all of those answers remain true, it didn’t answer my question. I still asked myself and tried to figure out what my purpose was. I asked God time and time again and I saw no answer, until I did.
You see, scrolling through my social media feed, I see all the many and wonderful accomplishments of my friends, family and acquaintances. I see moms my age becoming nurses, friends graduating with their Master’s degree or others simply traveling the world and living their absolute best life. I root for them. I applaud them. But then here comes that question again, What is my purpose? I’m 26, a mom to two kids, and pregnant with my third, married to a wonderful man who works so hard for our family and I? I didn’t finish college. I am not well traveled. I don’t have a fancy job, in fact I realized I kinda don’t want to have a fancy job.
And there it was, my answer.
Thinking about having to wake up and spend 8 hours a day with other people besides my children literally gives me anxiety. To think about having to miss a school play, a presentation or the morning craziness of getting to dress my son for kindergarten everyday makes me sad. Imagining having to drop off my daughters to a sitter and miss important milestones breaks my heart. And there it was! I don’t want to go back to school. I don’t want to get a fancy job (although the dressing up is so tempting, LOL.) I WANT to be a mom. JUST A MOM.
It’s my season.
I know women before me and many after me are superheroes and have worked so hard to pave the way for women to be equal in the workforce, heck, in the world. We have a place now. We have a voice now. And many might even think, I’m not using my potential or my talents to contribute to making a difference but right now this is my contribution. To be present with my children and teach them how THEY can use their talents and voices to make a difference and to accomplish any dreams they may have. This is my season. A season of being a mom, a chauffeur, chef, librarian, nurse, all the people they need me to be. I’m learning the season of motherhood is never-ending but they are only little for so long. My degree can wait. A fancy job or starting a business can wait. Right now, I’m “just” a mom and I love it.
How many times have you been invited to or interested in an event and you have to plan MONTHS in advance for this ONE outing?
I’m pretty sure there’s A LOT of mamas that know what I am talkin’ about. In my case it is pretty much a routine and it’s only become this way since we brought our second child into our world and let me tell you- I am very picky on which events we attend. I wholeheartedly wish we could go to EVERY single birthday party, concert, festival, movie, etc. but the reality is I can’t and here’s why.
Can I take the kids?
Every time my husband or myself are invited to something that is not obviously a child’s birthday party, our first question is usually “Can we take the kids?” or “Will there be kids?” and more often than not it’s a no. Which is completely normal and understandable. Not everyone who is hosting a BBQ or housewarming party or even a wedding want children present for the sake of getting some adult interaction and I. GET. IT. I totally get it because I mean, which parent wouldn’t want to go to a wedding and not have to share their meal or worry about the music being too loud? However, if you’re anything like me, mom guilt usually ALWAYS wins. That’s why I have come up with a way to pick which events we attend as a family or solo.
The type of events we attend as a family are ones that will obviously be suited for kids, like birthday parties, state fairs, carnivals, church events and seasonal experiences. We definitely attend those because it doesn’t create an environment of “no.” What I mean by that is those events are purposely catered for kids to have fun and you wont have to constantly tell your kids “No, that’s not for kids” or “No, you can’t do that.” and etc. I’ve learned this with experience. Have you ever taken your kids somewhere and you’re the only one with kids and you’re literally saying no to this and no to that and you feel like such a mean mom because your patience becomes so thin? Yup. That’s me. And even more so when my husband is scheduled to work a late shift so it’s just Mami and the kids.
So in order to avoid a painful outing, We plan a few weeks in advance. That planning is revolved around a quick questionnaire;
Do we need a sitter for 1 or more children?
Day of event. Will my husband work this certain day/night? Will this event fall on a visitation weekend where my son will be with his grandparents?
What time? Will this event run late into the night?
Will there be alcohol?
Do we want to take the children or can we make a date out of this event?
Then we’ll decide, is this going to be fun for the kids? If it’s a no we more than likely won’t attend. As a mom, I don’t want to have a good time while my kid is miserable. We want every outing to be memorable for the kids and a good time for mommy and daddy and if the event won’t do either of those two things, we make it a family night at home, and that’s always a win for mom!
While my checklist may sound tedious, or even annoying, it helps to give appropriate answers when we are invited to something. Our friends pretty much know we never quite have an opportunity without a least ONE baby and we are fortunate enough to have people in our lives who are understanding. Heck, I wish we could get a sitter multiple times a month to just go and have adult fun but at the end of a night like that, we are literally dying to get home to snuggle our babies.
I hope this gives some struggling supermoms some insight on how to choose which events to attend where the kids have fun and the mama has fun too!
Hello. My name is Angelic and I am the writer behind Motherhood Cantina. In my first post I have shared why I created this site and what made me choose the name. Now I’ll dive a little deeper in what you, as a reader can expect from my blog.
I am not completely new to blogging, however, I am new to wanting to blog consistently. I am currently contributing to a local mom blog that is part of a nationwide site and it was the inspiration to really push for my own brand. Contributing to our local site and meeting a lot of local moms really made me realize that Motherhood Cantina will be that place for mothers who really embrace being different. As for myself, I am different because I am Mexican and have found that in itself, being a Latina is not easy and when you add being a mom to that while living in todays world, it’s definitely challenging.
You may find most of my posts will be about motherhood (hence the name) but I may also include posts about:
Crafts & DIY
The wonderful thing about blogging is that they evolve as we learn, grow, and interact. While I gain more experience in life, as a woman and mother, it will bring so much more content and my ultimate goals is to create a space where WE, not only mothers but AS WOMEN can gather and share stories to maybe inspire or help one another in any way while we navigate life.
As a mother of 3 (one is currently cooking) I feel like I get lost in trying to do everything for everyone that I forget I too am a person other than just “Mami”. I am also a wife to an amazing man, and that in itself is a completely different person too. I’m learning to water and care greatly for that role ALL while trying to still have my own identity as Angelic and still remember to center God in all of this graceful mess. Life is crazy and seasons come and go and it’s always nice to remember that you are not completely alone in your journey.