A wild journey through Motherhood, Womanhood, Marriage and life as a Latina. Stop by the Motherhood Cantina with your drink of choice (Coffee for this mama) and let's chat about all things Life, Jesus & Craziness!
“Motherhood. Powered by love, sustained by coffee.”
Welcome back to my blogging journey! This is going to be a wild but awesome ride for me. I am currently contributing to a local site so I felt like I needed to expand my own brand and what I have learned so far, and thus came- Motherhood Cantina.
About Motherhood Cantina
I chose the name, Motherhood Cantina, because it felt like it said everything I write about. Motherhood because I am now a mother to THREE little blessings! So you can imagine, my entire world revolves around 3 little hearts 24/7. But with that, I am learning so much about myself in my new identity. I’m learning new things about being a woman, a friend, a sister, a child of God and of course, a WIFE.
Now, Cantina. Technically “cantina” translates to bar/saloon in English however I thought it was fitting for 2 reasons: 1. I needed a Spanish flare since a lot of my posts may be bilingual and 2. A bar, brewery or winery, (whatever your favorite is, mine is a coffee shop) a place where people gather to have a drink or food and vent, forget, celebrate, etc. and that’s exactly what I want Motherhood Cantina to be. A place where mothers, women, sisters different and alike can gather and share experiences, stories, ideas and feel like they are not alone in whatever season they may be in. Life is HARD and sometimes we just need that little place to go where it’ll make it less hard, even if it’s for a minute.
I am surrounded by a mess of toys. And today I chose to sit in the midst of it.
You see, for the last 2 days I have been trying to clean up all of the messes that the children continually keep making. I’ve been in a silent battle with my husband, talking all the crap in my head as to why its MY responsibility to clean it up. I felt so wounded & tired from my silent battles. If I have time to clean, I don’t give my undivided attention to the baby or have time with the kids. If I wait until nap times, I am also not taking the quiet time to spend with my husband. And you get the point now. A vicious cycle it can be.
In all honesty, I’ve learned that I’m the type of person that when things start piling up out of my control, I begin second guessing EVERYTHING! From my ability to be a mother and wife, to my life choices, questioning God, etc. It all starts trickling in.
Like what even is life?
Then I really start to think and doubt and fear sets in. My mind starts thinking even deeper. Finances, health, our future and I just start spiriling!
Today I sat in the midst of our mess.
My husband and I had a small disagreement and again, I felt all of the doubts set in. But I saw my daughter sitting on her play rug and making more messes, with the biggest smile on her face. She was in the midst of the mess, as happy as can be.
She didnt see it as a “mess” but rather fun and joy. When life starts to drown me I remember that I need to swim with the waves and not against them. I need to sit in the mess. I need to embrace my mess. You see, God has planned out every single second of my life. He knows exctly what I’m thinking, feeling, and doing, years from this very moment. And I need to stop fearing & doubting. He meticulously planned my life before my mother was born. And here I am. I walked past the dishes waiting for me to finish and I sat with my daughter, in the midst of the mess and I felt His presence. Sitting with a little baby is the closet thing I can be to God. A baby is innocent, so forgiving and so sweet. A baby isn’t tainted by the influences of the world or false teachings. This was the closest I could get to My God. A god who is forgiving, sweet as honey, kind, and SO SO GOOD.
As I praised and worshipped while I sat and laughed with my baby girl, He spoke and I listened. My God is unfailing and I see victory in my life.
Friends don’t let the silly things of life overtake you or steer you away from your calling. Embrace your mess. Embrace your battles. With God we’ll come out winning.
It’s the first day of school at home and I already lost my shit.
I’m just gonna get into it and admit that homeschooling isn’t for me. Today is the first day of virtual school and it did not go as planned. I thought I’d wake up at the crack of dawn, have myself a peaceful cup of joe, take our time getting myself and my 1st grader (cue the tears) ready, do some cute first day of school pics but nonetheles, here we are.
After a rough night, I snoozed my alarm more times than I’d like to admit. we had a slow start to breakfast and worksheet but luckily, Zach is a smarty pants and finished right on time to keep us on schedule. Hence why I even have time to write this blog and enjoy a cup of coffee at almost noon. Better late than never!
So to continue on with this morning’s poop show, Zach’s in a meeting with his teacher, Emmi is crying her head off, and Luna decides to serenade her brothers classroom with “Baby Shark.” So our first day has been eventful to say the least.
Meanwhile, I’m throwing F-bombs left and right in my head, cursing Corona virus for even putting me in this situation. Then, in the midst of my mind battle, I overheard my son’s conversation with his counselor:
Counselor: What are your fears or what are you afraid of?
Zach: Ummm, Clowns. (making a scared face)
Counselor: Yeah, clowns can be really scary! Who can you go to when your afraid of the clowns?
Zach: My mom. She can beat up all of the clowns!
My heart literally exploded.
Here I am, cursing the pandemic that didn’t allow my little guy to meet his teacher and then boom. All that frustration vanished. In that moment, I felt God’s grace. There I was telling myself I wasn’t cut out to be his at home teacher, or I’m not smart enough to teach him correctly. And here he was telling his counselor and his classmates. that he could count on me.
So mamas, if you’re in the midst of a homeschooling meltdown , Just know that;
1. You are not alone.
2. Give yourself some grace.
3. Give your kid a hug! I swear hugging them for a minute just takes away all that frustration and it makes them feel a lot of love too. WIN WIN!
Even though the Zoom meetings and the “Mom, un-mute me” can get frustrating, you might just learn something new about your little person in the midst of it all. That makes it all worth it!
Raise your hand if you’ve been stuck in the twilight zone and don’t know how you went from March to August in 345 days? Darn quarantine. Can it be 2021 already? (Cue the MEGA eye roll)
I don’t know about you but today had just been one of the heaviest days. Not so much physically, but emotional. It’s crazy to think that we’re literally in the middle of a scary pandemic, whilst being stuck at home helping fight for basic human rights (BLM), trying to save OUR children and are now publically speaking about a HUGE pedophilia epidemic as well.
Which in light, yes, these things have NEEDED to be talked about for years and years and thankfully we’re having these conversations now. But man oh man, as a mother this is hard.
It was hard watching the footage of George Floyd crying out for his mama as his life was brutally taken. It was hard hearing about mexican and latin children being ripped away from their mothers and locked in cages in search of a safer life. And yes, they were literally ripped away. And now, we are learning that pedophilia is even more widespread than Covid-19. To top it all off, our children are either being homeschooled or are virtually learning when we should be dropping them off at their first day of school, with their new teachers and little friends.
As a mother, it’s like a storm of all of my worst fears. A deadly virus, pedophiles, and the possibility of loved ones being taken away from the only country they’ve ever known. (Oh because we also have an ICE problem)
2020 has been heavy. In every sense. And I know many of us have had or are having these days. Days where you worry about: job security, health, having hard conversations about race & safety. Days where you literally wish for bed time because the days have felt soooo long and you wish for normalcy again.
If this sounds like you, I am so sure you are not alone. We are ALL dealing in our own way, on our own time. Many are angry they haven’t been able to see family. Many are sad they haven’t been able to celebrate their babies’ birthdays with a huge party. And many are just going with the motions day after day.
I know us mothers are probably tired of washing the dishes 30x a day because everyone seems to be home (if you get to work from home) and eating every 5 seconds. (Somebody take away all the snacks please) I know I am and that’s totally okay.
The things goin’ on in the world are important and NEED to be talked about however, it’s okay to shut off the rest of the world and focus on YOU. Focus on Your Babies. Your Spouse. Your dogs, Your home. Your Peace.
And that’s exactly what I did today. I didn’t post on my stories. I didn’t work my business. I didn’t yell at my kids to pick up their messes. I shut the world off for just a little while. I did a whole Soul- Care day on a WEDNESDAY! I stayed hydrated. I took an EXTRA LONG SHOWER, used my amazing skincare products, cuddled my babies, played in the dirt, baked a delicious lemon cake, and just breathed.
I will take this time to remind you to take care of YOU. Because if you don’t take care of yourself, than you won’t be at your best to take care of those around you. (Your mind and your body will thank you later. (winky face)
I think we get so caught up with how fast or slow our world is moving that we end up feeling like we’re drowning and can’t seem to catch a break to take a deep breath. But once we realize that’s what we need, we stop seeing only the bad that’s happening around us and we start realizing how blessed we truly are.
I know I am so blessed that my family is healthy and happy. My husband still has a job. I started a new business. We have a comfortable home. Even though sometimes all we see is darkness, God always shows us that little bit of light to make us rejoice in him again.
Faith OVER fear for the WIN!
Now, in the meantime, after an as needed RESET, let’s remember to continue praying and start donating to reputable charities that continue to fight for the following issues!
Black Lives Matter
Save our children
ICE Family Seperation
Covid-19 Frontline Workers
Let’s continue to take care of ourselves and others. Spread love and awareness.
I know we have all been living in the same whirlwind since Covid-19, without knocking, barged into our world disrupting our lives as they perfectly were. It surely turned my world and shook it all up. My oldest baby couldn’t finish kindergarten with his best friends. My daughter hasn’t been on our usual outings and it hasn’t been the easiest explaining to her why she can’t go to the grocery store. Not to mention, my husband was in the MIDDLE of transitioning from car sales to selling homes. So yes, our quarantine has been a little funky to say the least.
But… it has also been a blessing for us. We as a family have dinner together almost every night which wasn’t possible before with my husbands schedule. I have been more involved in Zach’s learning (Kudos to you homeschooling mamas, I don’t know how you do it!) and we just enjoy everything together now. Has it been the easiest transition? Heck no. Has it been scary? Hell yes! Raising littles in the middle of a global pandemic has contributed more to my anxiety than I expected. However, God has shown me SO much during this period.
I learned to let go of things that didn’t feed my soul.
I’m the type of person that goes based off of vibes. The feelings I get being around you or in a new situation. With God’s guidance, I was able to figure out who and what wasn’t contributing to my growth. I let go and let God.
So with this new found philosophy
I am now dedicating myself 100% to my people, mi gente and my blog. I’ve learned that us latinas/hispanics are not very well represented on certain online communities in Albuquerque or our state. I hate that a lot of small businesses ran by women, latinas/os, immigrants, mothers, etc. aren’t supported because they aren’t very well promoted or have the means to pay to be advertised. I’d love to see these small businesses get recognized by our community in whatever which way!
That’s where we come together as a community.
I know a lot of people are living their lives day by day, struggling financially, mentally, etc. and I see that. I want to help in someway, so I’ve decided to do a post on my blog about our ABQ latina/o small businesses every week! We can discover new small businesses to fall in love with all while supporting someone’s small business dream.
You would be able to share the posts of each small business on your personal pages & hopefully we can boost traffic for these business owners during this pandemic. I will be sharing this on FB and in the comments leave a business you’d like to spread the word about and I will message them about a mini interview!
TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK!
P.S I see you health clubs, boutiques, coffee shops, health coaches, etc.
Your hustle has been an inspiration during this time!
As most of my readers know. My third little baby, Emmi, came into the world on January 4th, 2020. It has been such a blessing to have her in my arms to love on her every single day. And boy, has it been an adjustment for my other bebecitos but we’re hangin’ in there and taking it day by day.
It definitely feels like it has been longer than 5 weeks since I delivered. Baby is sleeping through most of the night (for now anyway, knock on wood) and my body is definitely feeling back to normal. And that’s probably thanks to my midwife AND Emmi for not wanting to hang in there until her due date!
Some delivery background
When I delivered Zach I was 20 years old, had him natural with the help of IV pain meds and had the longest labor of 22 hours. How I did it? No idea. My post partum journey with him was also pretty easy. Being that I was only 20 and was in the best shape of my life pre-pregnancy, my body bounced back within 8 weeks.
Now fast forward to 2 years ago when I delivered Luna. It was a 7 hr labor and I got the epidural at only 5cm dilated (insert eye roll here.) There were some complications during delivery but overall Luna was healthy. Now mama was another story. My postpartum experience was NOTHING like my first. I was so swollen for WEEKS after delivery and boy did my body NOT bounce back. In fact I immediately got PPD and gained more weight. It was a rough year to say the least.
Then I got pregnant with Emmi! I was so nervous for how this pregnancy and delivery would be. The pregnancy went pretty awesome to say the least! I felt amazing and stayed pretty active. Once the last weeks started to roll around I was already having contractions. At 37 weeks I was 2cm dilated. Which is CRAZY because I was past due with the last 2 so I was pretty positive I would go over with Emmi too. By my 38 week check up, I was 2.5cm dilated and the contractions continued. By 39wks I was already 3.5cm dilated and couldn’t believe how much of a headstart I was having!
Now, here’s where I almost wouldn’t of made it to the hospital..
It’s been a while since I’ve last posted and girrrrllll, let me say that these last few months have flown by. Mostly because of SOOO many unexpected events.
As we know I’m currently very pregnant now with my third baby and while I was feeling really good physically, emotionally has been very different. For starters, My grandpa had been very sick for a few months and every day was in question. But luckily, when the time came my entire family was there as he passed. After the funeral, services, etc. My kids got really sick. Like extremely sick. It was the worst sick season in our house. And naturally, mom ended up sick for 2 weeks. Yay!
We were on the up and up when just a short 2 weeks later (This week) the kids & husband got the flu! There has definitely been a feeling of us not being able to catch a break. While it seemed like our life was upside down for probably about a month, it put a damper on our holiday cheer.
I couldn’t get out of the house long enough to get Christmas decorations. So our already minimal home is totally rocking a “Blue Christmas” theme. A christmas tree, gifts, stockings and a cute candle decoration.
While I am out of holiday cheer, emotional & 38 weeks pregnant, I am blessed to see my children feeling better, and my husband being healthy and getting to spend time with what little family we do have. And in no time we get to welcome our new baby girl.
So while I can’t help but feel blue, my heart can’t help but feel blessed. It’s not about the million of decorations I didn’t get around to putting up but the countless hours I got to tend to my children and snuggle while watching The Grinch. My husband got to spend some family time with us as well. My heart honestly couldn’t be happier and has grown 2 sizes bigger on this day!
It’s true what they say, Christmas is SO much better when you get to see your children enjoying it.
I hope everyone has an amazing Christmas with family and friends and remembers that it’s not about gifts and trees, but spending it with those you love and eating countless yummy tamales without guilt!
Let’s face it being a mom is hard. No matter what kind of mom you are. Whether it be a SAHM (like me) or a working mom, or a work from home mom, a step-mom, a foster mom, etc. It’s freakin’ hard work! I’ve come to accept that my sanity will never be the same but my kids have been completely worth every season of life we’ve gone through. AND LET ME TELL YOU, I’ve gone through many, but one that really sticks out is a time where I ask myself “What is my purpose in life if I’m just a mom?”
I’m still young…
Whenever I discuss this question with myself or with someone else, I usually always hear the same answer- “You’re still young.” or “You have plenty of time to figure it out.” or my fave, “You can still go to school and work while being a mom.” And while all of those answers remain true, it didn’t answer my question. I still asked myself and tried to figure out what my purpose was. I asked God time and time again and I saw no answer, until I did.
You see, scrolling through my social media feed, I see all the many and wonderful accomplishments of my friends, family and acquaintances. I see moms my age becoming nurses, friends graduating with their Master’s degree or others simply traveling the world and living their absolute best life. I root for them. I applaud them. But then here comes that question again, What is my purpose? I’m 26, a mom to two kids, and pregnant with my third, married to a wonderful man who works so hard for our family and I? I didn’t finish college. I am not well traveled. I don’t have a fancy job, in fact I realized I kinda don’t want to have a fancy job.
And there it was, my answer.
Thinking about having to wake up and spend 8 hours a day with other people besides my children literally gives me anxiety. To think about having to miss a school play, a presentation or the morning craziness of getting to dress my son for kindergarten everyday makes me sad. Imagining having to drop off my daughters to a sitter and miss important milestones breaks my heart. And there it was! I don’t want to go back to school. I don’t want to get a fancy job (although the dressing up is so tempting, LOL.) I WANT to be a mom. JUST A MOM.
It’s my season.
I know women before me and many after me are superheroes and have worked so hard to pave the way for women to be equal in the workforce, heck, in the world. We have a place now. We have a voice now. And many might even think, I’m not using my potential or my talents to contribute to making a difference but right now this is my contribution. To be present with my children and teach them how THEY can use their talents and voices to make a difference and to accomplish any dreams they may have. This is my season. A season of being a mom, a chauffeur, chef, librarian, nurse, all the people they need me to be. I’m learning the season of motherhood is never-ending but they are only little for so long. My degree can wait. A fancy job or starting a business can wait. Right now, I’m “just” a mom and I love it.
How many times have you been invited to or interested in an event and you have to plan MONTHS in advance for this ONE outing?
I’m pretty sure there’s A LOT of mamas that know what I am talkin’ about. In my case it is pretty much a routine and it’s only become this way since we brought our second child into our world and let me tell you- I am very picky on which events we attend. I wholeheartedly wish we could go to EVERY single birthday party, concert, festival, movie, etc. but the reality is I can’t and here’s why.
Can I take the kids?
Every time my husband or myself are invited to something that is not obviously a child’s birthday party, our first question is usually “Can we take the kids?” or “Will there be kids?” and more often than not it’s a no. Which is completely normal and understandable. Not everyone who is hosting a BBQ or housewarming party or even a wedding want children present for the sake of getting some adult interaction and I. GET. IT. I totally get it because I mean, which parent wouldn’t want to go to a wedding and not have to share their meal or worry about the music being too loud? However, if you’re anything like me, mom guilt usually ALWAYS wins. That’s why I have come up with a way to pick which events we attend as a family or solo.
The type of events we attend as a family are ones that will obviously be suited for kids, like birthday parties, state fairs, carnivals, church events and seasonal experiences. We definitely attend those because it doesn’t create an environment of “no.” What I mean by that is those events are purposely catered for kids to have fun and you wont have to constantly tell your kids “No, that’s not for kids” or “No, you can’t do that.” and etc. I’ve learned this with experience. Have you ever taken your kids somewhere and you’re the only one with kids and you’re literally saying no to this and no to that and you feel like such a mean mom because your patience becomes so thin? Yup. That’s me. And even more so when my husband is scheduled to work a late shift so it’s just Mami and the kids.
So in order to avoid a painful outing, We plan a few weeks in advance. That planning is revolved around a quick questionnaire;
Do we need a sitter for 1 or more children?
Day of event. Will my husband work this certain day/night? Will this event fall on a visitation weekend where my son will be with his grandparents?
What time? Will this event run late into the night?
Will there be alcohol?
Do we want to take the children or can we make a date out of this event?
Then we’ll decide, is this going to be fun for the kids? If it’s a no we more than likely won’t attend. As a mom, I don’t want to have a good time while my kid is miserable. We want every outing to be memorable for the kids and a good time for mommy and daddy and if the event won’t do either of those two things, we make it a family night at home, and that’s always a win for mom!
While my checklist may sound tedious, or even annoying, it helps to give appropriate answers when we are invited to something. Our friends pretty much know we never quite have an opportunity without a least ONE baby and we are fortunate enough to have people in our lives who are understanding. Heck, I wish we could get a sitter multiple times a month to just go and have adult fun but at the end of a night like that, we are literally dying to get home to snuggle our babies.
I hope this gives some struggling supermoms some insight on how to choose which events to attend where the kids have fun and the mama has fun too!
Hello. My name is Angelic and I am the writer behind Motherhood Cantina. In my first post I have shared why I created this site and what made me choose the name. Now I’ll dive a little deeper in what you, as a reader can expect from my blog.
I am not completely new to blogging, however, I am new to wanting to blog consistently. I am currently contributing to a local mom blog that is part of a nationwide site and it was the inspiration to really push for my own brand. Contributing to our local site and meeting a lot of local moms really made me realize that Motherhood Cantina will be that place for mothers who really embrace being different. As for myself, I am different because I am Mexican and have found that in itself, being a Latina is not easy and when you add being a mom to that while living in todays world, it’s definitely challenging.
You may find most of my posts will be about motherhood (hence the name) but I may also include posts about:
Crafts & DIY
The wonderful thing about blogging is that they evolve as we learn, grow, and interact. While I gain more experience in life, as a woman and mother, it will bring so much more content and my ultimate goals is to create a space where WE, not only mothers but AS WOMEN can gather and share stories to maybe inspire or help one another in any way while we navigate life.
As a mother of 3 (one is currently cooking) I feel like I get lost in trying to do everything for everyone that I forget I too am a person other than just “Mami”. I am also a wife to an amazing man, and that in itself is a completely different person too. I’m learning to water and care greatly for that role ALL while trying to still have my own identity as Angelic and still remember to center God in all of this graceful mess. Life is crazy and seasons come and go and it’s always nice to remember that you are not completely alone in your journey.