A wild journey through Motherhood, Womanhood, Marriage and life as a Latina. Stop by the Motherhood Cantina with your drink of choice (Coffee for this mama) and let's chat about all things Life, Jesus & Craziness!
“Motherhood. Powered by love, sustained by coffee.”
Welcome back to my blogging journey! This is going to be a wild but awesome ride for me. I am currently contributing to a local site so I felt like I needed to expand my own brand and what I have learned so far, and thus came- Motherhood Cantina.
About Motherhood Cantina
I chose the name, Motherhood Cantina, because it felt like it said everything I write about. Motherhood because I am now a mother to THREE little blessings! So you can imagine, my entire world revolves around 3 little hearts 24/7. But with that, I am learning so much about myself in my new identity. I’m learning new things about being a woman, a friend, a sister, a child of God and of course, a WIFE.
Now, Cantina. Technically “cantina” translates to bar/saloon in English however I thought it was fitting for 2 reasons: 1. I needed a Spanish flare since a lot of my posts may be bilingual and 2. A bar, brewery or winery, (whatever your favorite is, mine is a coffee shop) a place where people gather to have a drink or food and vent, forget, celebrate, etc. and that’s exactly what I want Motherhood Cantina to be. A place where mothers, women, sisters different and alike can gather and share experiences, stories, ideas and feel like they are not alone in whatever season they may be in. Life is HARD and sometimes we just need that little place to go where it’ll make it less hard, even if it’s for a minute.
For a long time I was ashamed of my heritage. From being called racial slurs in middle school and being that “mexican” girl, to being called ghetto SO many times in HS. I was too white for my mexican friends and too mexican for everyone else. It was hard. I was so embarrassed of my own culture. I literally hid everything that made me, me. I tried not to burn in the summer so I would avoid getting my golden tan. I never wore my earrings or gold jewelry that was passed down from my parents. I stopped speaking Spanish. Even in my Spanish classes. I never listened to Spanish music at this point. I wanted to be anything other than a Latina. I wanted to avoid being called names, hearing whispering immigration jokes behind my back and being referred to as “the mexican girl.”
And I eventually had to face hard truths. I had to stop running away from my heritage, and embrace it. I stopped caring about what people thought of me. My race wasn’t to be questioned anymore. My likes in music or aesthetic was mine to love and no one else’s. I remembered my dad. He was born in Cuauhtémoc, Chihuahua but grew up in Juarez. When you think of mexican men, most people think of boots and a tejana. Not my dad. He was as rebellious as they come. He was a certified bad ass. Never in boots but always in Converse. Tattooed. Tan skin. Hair was so dark and thick and always so nicely combed. He smelled of Tres Flores and cologne. He wore jerseys. Football, baseball, even hockey jerseys! Driving a 66 Impala with hydrolics but jamming to Los Tigres Del Norte. There was literally nothing ordinary about this man. And my mom. She was also born and raised in Cuauhtémoc as well, until she made it to the U.S. She had me at 15 so as I grew up alongside her, I watched her get ready everyday. She wore her hair in style. It was BIG and beautiful. Her ears were dripping in gold hoop earrings. Her lips, lined with dark brown lip liner and when eyeliner became a trend, there was a sharp black line to kill.
I see pictures of them two together and I don’t see racial slurs or immigration jokes. I see beauty. Beauty in my dads dark, gold skin and beauty in my moms very light almost pale skin. My mom spoke Fluent English and my dad, well didn’t. So I got the best of both worlds. I want that for my own babies. I want them to remember their dad and I as I remember my own parents. Beautiful and true to their culture.
Not everyone is for us and that’s okay. As long as I am for myself, and encourage my children to embrace their cultura, that’s all that matters.
And on another note, Latinas have ALWAYS been trendy.
I missed ya’ll! I can’t tell you enough how many times I have planned to sit and write a new blog post and just couldn’t find the “time.” But I have been mentally writing (IYKYK)
Anyway, I wanted to catch ya’ll up on what I have been up to in 2021. Obviously, still going crazy at home with my kids because, quarantine, school, masks, etc. However, just recently, our state finally opened up inside dining and let me tell you. While it was so refreshing to be able to sit inside a restaurant for a meal, the meal did not do us any favors. Our stomachs have become used to home cooked meals. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time because now I have to cook even MORE (sad face)
So with all of that craziness, I found something to keep me busy outside of motherhood.
I have been making items for Coffee & Chisme! I have now made 4 different mugs for the Coffee & Chisme collection and it has been so cool so far! I make them myself and really just zone out while I’m working on orders. It has truly become my little “alone time.” Other than making mugs and fulfilling orders, Coffee & Chisme has been crazy busy as well with our event going on called “The Unspeakable Series.”
I created an event about 3 weeks ago to invite someone different every Saturday for our live to tell their story pertaining to a specific topic we need to bring awareness to as women. The unspeakable part came in because as a Mexican woman, our culture is mostly “quiet” about bad things that may happen to avoid judgment, shame, etc. With everything that has happened in 2020, I just feel like we really need to use our voices to bring awareness to subjects most people just hide away.
I have declared 2021 to be a year of healing, awareness and empowerment.
So I personally invite ya’ll to join in on our event, Saturday mornings at 10:30. It has been so eye opening and unifying! Just what we women need. Haci que ya estan invitadas!
Since I’ve entered into motherhood, I’ve often heard, it takes a village to raise a baby. And it really does. From grandparents, to siblings, daycare workers, to family members, neighbors, school teaches, etc. It takes a variety of people help raise a happy and healthy child.
But have we ever thought about the mamas? And how it too, takes a village to uplift a mama? In every season of motherhood?
Think about it, when a mama gives birth, most visitors are overjoyed to meet the new baby and get all the baby cuddles they can. Often forgetting a mama literally just pushed that baby out of her AND she also birthed a new version of herself. Whether it being her first baby or her 3rd. And that’s where our mama village should come in.
In every season of motherhood I’ve been through, I can’t thank my village enough. To be honest, I didn’t even recognize I had a village to help me through some of the most challenging times as a young mama. Looking back, I am extremely blessed I had that small village to help me become the mother I am today. That’s when I came to the realization that, while it takes a village to raise a baby, it also takes a village to RAISE UP a Mama.
Raising Up a Mama
I think I can say that we’ve seen at one time, a mama struggling. Either with breastfeeding, sleeping, juggling multiple kids, working a full time job whilst raising a baby at home, a mama going through loss, and the unspoken, PPD & anxiety.
In my culture, we birth babies and are expected to get back to normal within 40 days (The cuarentena.) After that we are expected to be normal and resume our lives. We hardly talked about PPD & anxiety (until it ran into me, hello!) and how that can affect a mother in ways nobody speaks about. All of the things I just mentioned, most people (older generation & non parents) think “Well it’s part of being a mother, deal with it.” And that has to stop. That’s where our MAMA VILLAGE needs to come in.
We see SO much mom shaming on social media, that no one is excluded from it. I mean, even Chrissy Teigen received so much hate after she publicly spoke about her miscarriage. That is not okay. Motherhood and all of the things that may come with it, PPD, anxiety, weight gain, stress, etc has no exemption.
This is 2021 and after the hard year we all just had, Us mamas need to raise one another up more than ever before. We were literally just quarantined for almost 10 months, while trying to keep our sanity and our families safe. So many mothers went through dark times and felt lonely or overwhelmed. New mommies had to face the newborn challenges on their own because they couldn’t risk a family member getting them sick. Some moms, lost their babies they waited months to meet. Some mamas weren’t able to see their babies because they work in a hospital and were afraid to bring a virus home. There was something for each of us.
I feel like after the year we all just had, we need to stop judging a mother about the most miniscule things. Breastfeeding or Formula. Vaginal or C-section. Natural or Medicated. Organic or regular. Vegan or Meat. Skinny or Thick. Who the heck cares?
Mamas, you’re doing great. You’re amazing. You’re a reina. You are loved. And you are needed. Find your tribe. Ask for help if you need it. Know you are not alone in this whirlwind of a journey. We need to raise one another up because guaranteed, when a mama feels seen and appreciated she feels a little bit more confident in what she’s doing.
Merry Christmas Eve, but if you’re Mexican like me then Merry Christmas! We always celebrate on the 24th and on Christmas Day we lounge in our pj’s, eat leftovers, praise the Lord and CHILLLL.
Except we can’t attend church in person this year and instead of leftovers, I am attempting to make homemade cinnamon rolls for our Christmas Day breakfast! This year is so different but we are definitely embarking on new traditions that will hopefully continue for the years to come!
So, with that being said, I have THE perfect coffee recipe that will taste like Christmas in a mug and keep you cozy and caffinated.
If you watched last weeks Coffee & Chisme live, I actually made this and it was surprisingly delicious! It’s for sure a staple in our home for me now. It is a delicious Eggnog Latte!
All you need is:
Your favorite coffee
A milk frother
Your favorite eggnog
So to be completely honest, I’ve only ever made this with my Keurig because it has a latte option (which is basically a shot of “espresso”) and my favorite coffee is Dunkin Donuts Original Blend in K-pods. As for eggnog. I honestly just used a Creamland brand because- well, husbands.
First, I froth about 4-5 oz of eggnog and when that is ready and looks like a frothy dream, you insert your favorite K cup and if you’re able to or know how to make an espresso shot, do that. Once that is ready, gently pour your frothy eggnog dream into the espresso and Voila! Sprinkle your cinnamon on top and enjoy!
This is seriously the yummiest latte and perfect for the holidays! If you try this recipe, let me know how you like it?!
P.S, today I am attempting this with our favorite local Pinon Coffee Biscochito coffee and I am certain it’s going to just have all the cozy flavors and sweetness that warms up your soul! (Insert self-hug)
I hope you all have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and it is everything you wish it to be. Stay cozy, safe and blessed, familia!
First things first, We need to normalize that mothers don’t ALWAYS have it together.
Happy freaking Friday Madresitas! I hope you all have survived yet another week of life in a pandemic. I have to be completely honest. As per the title, you might already have an idea as to how I did this week hiding from Covid. It was a complete shit show. I said it. COMPLETE CHAOS.
I truly understand the circumstances we are ALL living under right now and some may say I sound selfish for feeling the way I do but that is my exact reason for this post. We need to normalize that yes- even moms lose their shit.
I have never been more tested in motherhood than I have this past week. Mamas, I’ve cried, I’ve yelled, I’ve punched a wall, I’ve went on a house-chores strike. All of the things! And I’m still stick in my house with 3 kids. I used to think that I had to always be a happy mom. Do gentle parenting to change some generational habits, let my kids think for themselves and allow them to be so free and independent (basically going against our Mexican-rearing traditions) but nope, not this week. I couldn’t do the Pinterest, tidy, Target-loving, look like I slept 8 hours last night mom NO MORE.
And I lost it.
I felt defeated. Covid won. I yelled at my kids for being kids. I was lowkey salty with the teachers because they have too many damn links for virtual learning and I have a mountain of laundry that I haven’t finished because I feel like I live in dishes and messes nowadays. Oh, and I literally have a kid up my butt every single hour of the day. I used to think I did so well at taking motherhood head on and killing it. Boy did this week teach me HUGE lessons. The number one lesson was that ALL MOTHERS LOSE THEIR SHIT. (Insert exaggerated gasp) Shocker! Some mamis just hide it better than others. That’s okay. Motherhood literally has no boundary or characteristic. If you’re rich, poor, mexican or white, vegan or carnivore, we ALL lose it at one point (or a few times a day, that’s okay.)
We need to normalize that mothers get overwhelmed too. That we too feel the stressors of the world and sometimes feel defeated. That sometimes we feel helpless. Sometimes we feel sad and mad and angry and tired. I feel like too many people just see us doing the mom thing and think, “Oh she’s got this, look at her go!” and continue on, instead of actually SEEING us.
Have you actually checked on the mamas in your life? I get it. WE chose to become moms, this is the battle we chose. We chose this battle because there is nothing more rewarding on this planet than to grow a human, bring them into this world and watch them grow. But sometimes it gets exhausting. Those little humans hurt our feelings or put us through the ringer and you just roll with it because you’re their mama. Their safe place. Normalize that we have feelings. Normalize that while, yes, we chose to have children, we didn’t know exactly what growing into their mother would feel like. Some days it feels like we are on top of the world and some days like today, your babies act like assho*#$ and hurt your fragile little heart.
While it looks all fine and dandy on IG,
In real life it can look nothing close to dandy. Aside from being a mama in 2020, many are forced to homeschool or teach on the sidelines via virtual learning, still breastfeed an infant and care for a very energetic toddlers who are stuck at home. and on TOP of all of that, we STILL have to cook for our husbands, workout, put ourselves together so we excite our husbands, get freaky and attempt to feel normal when all we want to do is nap and go to Hobby Lobby unbothered. Motherhood is the best journey God put me on, but today, it was all rough terrain and that’s okay.
If you have mama friends who are having a hard time, reach out and ask how they are doing. Drop off a coffee at their door step. Talk to them about adult things. Pray with them. Pray for them. Make them feel like they are seen.
Lastly, normalize that mother’s lose their shit, too. Not just dad’s.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with your families and you stay safe!
I know 2020 has been a whirlwind of a year. Since we are still currently in the middle of a pandemic forcing our holidays to look so different, yet I am still so thankful.
2020 has been the hardest year as a mother and wife but also the best year.
At the beginning of the year, we welcomed Emmi into our family (just in time before Covid) thank God. So that immedietly makes 2020 such a great year. But it was also so hard on us individually. My son had to switch to virtual learning, my daughter no longer went on fun outings with mama, and we were stuck at home. ALL DAY LONG. Taking care of 3 babies under 6 is not easy. They all are at different stages in their little lives and need different things from me as their mama. Being a SAHM is already hard enough but add in a stay- at- home order to the mix and it is chaos.
While I can go on about how our normal became so distant and how we’ve had to learn to readjust BUT we’ve also been so blessed this year. I couldn’t be more thankful for how blessed we are. My husband still has a job, my son is actually enjoying school and doing exceptionally well, and my daughters have fun every single day together. We’ve never spent more time together as a family than we have these past months!
While 2020 has brought so many difficulties to a lot of families, our community has shown so much resilience! So yeah, 2020 has sucked, but it also taught us how to survive.
I hope ya’ll are finding the blessings in the middle of this storm and enjoy your Thanksgiving! Here’s to yummy food, staying home with our families, and staying safe!
Lastly, Motherhood Cantina wants to thank each & every one of you who have read, shared and subscribed! I am truly thankful for you!
Have you ever heard that saying “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea”?
Basically it’s a phrase you use when a person, place or thing may not be to someone’s liking and therefore you play off like “Oh, its not everyone’s cup of tea.”
Well here’s where I had my epiphany and really thought about this phrase. Okay, Chisme time. I went to a small gathering and the vibe was there. It was cool, my kids were having fun, I was with my husband. Okay, cool. Then I noticed I wasn’t really conversing with anyone. I was so busy playing with my babies and making sure they were taken care of. After all, we are guests in someone’s home. I couldn’t just let my children run rampant while I chatted with the other adults at the gathering. So there I was like okay my babies are calm now, my husband is busy with the fellas having a cold one and it was just the ladies. Silence. One asked me how my daughter was going about walking and if you know me, once I start talking, I might not shut up (especially when I talk about my babies) so I let her in on our journey to get Emmi walking.
No response. Nothing. Nada, Just a smile.
I took upon myself to play with my kids and include the other littles too. I was taking one for the team until the babies wore out. My husband was still enjoying his time but it’s clear to say, I was not. This was probably the ONLY time I’ve ever been at a party and NOT talk! In the midst of this I started questioning myself.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“What did I say?”
“Am I not cool anymore?”
It was a lot. I decided to leave and I cried.
A grown ass woman crying because she was excluded then I thought “What in the actual F*&^# Angelic” Don’t say “what’s wrong with me ?” and instead ask yourself what’s wrong with them that they can’t align with you?!
And now here’s my pep talk to the mama who thinks she has to try hard to make friends.
Don’t E V E R make yourself small to fit in a circle smaller than you! Regardless if they were your crowd BEFORE kids. When we g r o w into motherhood we also o u t g r o w, friendships, circles, our old selves AND THAT IS OK! You should never feed into that negative voice in your head saying those mean things just because you feel a little out of place. It is okay. God sometimes removes people and changes the situation to help us grow, not for us to stay the same. ESPECIALLY after Motherhood. I learned a valuable lesson that night. I’m grateful for that lesson because I talked my self out of that pity party and reminded myself of how bad ass I am.
I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I know for sure I am someone’s cup of Horchata!
I am surrounded by a mess of toys. And today I chose to sit in the midst of it.
You see, for the last 2 days I have been trying to clean up all of the messes that the children continually keep making. I’ve been in a silent battle with my husband, talking all the crap in my head as to why its MY responsibility to clean it up. I felt so wounded & tired from my silent battles. If I have time to clean, I don’t give my undivided attention to the baby or have time with the kids. If I wait until nap times, I am also not taking the quiet time to spend with my husband. And you get the point now. A vicious cycle it can be.
In all honesty, I’ve learned that I’m the type of person that when things start piling up out of my control, I begin second guessing EVERYTHING! From my ability to be a mother and wife, to my life choices, questioning God, etc. It all starts trickling in.
Like what even is life?
Then I really start to think and doubt and fear sets in. My mind starts thinking even deeper. Finances, health, our future and I just start spiriling!
Today I sat in the midst of our mess.
My husband and I had a small disagreement and again, I felt all of the doubts set in. But I saw my daughter sitting on her play rug and making more messes, with the biggest smile on her face. She was in the midst of the mess, as happy as can be.
She didnt see it as a “mess” but rather fun and joy. When life starts to drown me I remember that I need to swim with the waves and not against them. I need to sit in the mess. I need to embrace my mess. You see, God has planned out every single second of my life. He knows exctly what I’m thinking, feeling, and doing, years from this very moment. And I need to stop fearing & doubting. He meticulously planned my life before my mother was born. And here I am. I walked past the dishes waiting for me to finish and I sat with my daughter, in the midst of the mess and I felt His presence. Sitting with a little baby is the closet thing I can be to God. A baby is innocent, so forgiving and so sweet. A baby isn’t tainted by the influences of the world or false teachings. This was the closest I could get to My God. A god who is forgiving, sweet as honey, kind, and SO SO GOOD.
As I praised and worshipped while I sat and laughed with my baby girl, He spoke and I listened. My God is unfailing and I see victory in my life.
Friends don’t let the silly things of life overtake you or steer you away from your calling. Embrace your mess. Embrace your battles. With God we’ll come out winning.
It’s the first day of school at home and I already lost my shit.
I’m just gonna get into it and admit that homeschooling isn’t for me. Today is the first day of virtual school and it did not go as planned. I thought I’d wake up at the crack of dawn, have myself a peaceful cup of joe, take our time getting myself and my 1st grader (cue the tears) ready, do some cute first day of school pics but nonetheles, here we are.
After a rough night, I snoozed my alarm more times than I’d like to admit. we had a slow start to breakfast and worksheet but luckily, Zach is a smarty pants and finished right on time to keep us on schedule. Hence why I even have time to write this blog and enjoy a cup of coffee at almost noon. Better late than never!
So to continue on with this morning’s poop show, Zach’s in a meeting with his teacher, Emmi is crying her head off, and Luna decides to serenade her brothers classroom with “Baby Shark.” So our first day has been eventful to say the least.
Meanwhile, I’m throwing F-bombs left and right in my head, cursing Corona virus for even putting me in this situation. Then, in the midst of my mind battle, I overheard my son’s conversation with his counselor:
Counselor: What are your fears or what are you afraid of?
Zach: Ummm, Clowns. (making a scared face)
Counselor: Yeah, clowns can be really scary! Who can you go to when your afraid of the clowns?
Zach: My mom. She can beat up all of the clowns!
My heart literally exploded.
Here I am, cursing the pandemic that didn’t allow my little guy to meet his teacher and then boom. All that frustration vanished. In that moment, I felt God’s grace. There I was telling myself I wasn’t cut out to be his at home teacher, or I’m not smart enough to teach him correctly. And here he was telling his counselor and his classmates. that he could count on me.
So mamas, if you’re in the midst of a homeschooling meltdown , Just know that;
1. You are not alone.
2. Give yourself some grace.
3. Give your kid a hug! I swear hugging them for a minute just takes away all that frustration and it makes them feel a lot of love too. WIN WIN!
Even though the Zoom meetings and the “Mom, un-mute me” can get frustrating, you might just learn something new about your little person in the midst of it all. That makes it all worth it!
Raise your hand if you’ve been stuck in the twilight zone and don’t know how you went from March to August in 345 days? Darn quarantine. Can it be 2021 already? (Cue the MEGA eye roll)
I don’t know about you but today had just been one of the heaviest days. Not so much physically, but emotional. It’s crazy to think that we’re literally in the middle of a scary pandemic, whilst being stuck at home helping fight for basic human rights (BLM), trying to save OUR children and are now publically speaking about a HUGE pedophilia epidemic as well.
Which in light, yes, these things have NEEDED to be talked about for years and years and thankfully we’re having these conversations now. But man oh man, as a mother this is hard.
It was hard watching the footage of George Floyd crying out for his mama as his life was brutally taken. It was hard hearing about mexican and latin children being ripped away from their mothers and locked in cages in search of a safer life. And yes, they were literally ripped away. And now, we are learning that pedophilia is even more widespread than Covid-19. To top it all off, our children are either being homeschooled or are virtually learning when we should be dropping them off at their first day of school, with their new teachers and little friends.
As a mother, it’s like a storm of all of my worst fears. A deadly virus, pedophiles, and the possibility of loved ones being taken away from the only country they’ve ever known. (Oh because we also have an ICE problem)
2020 has been heavy. In every sense. And I know many of us have had or are having these days. Days where you worry about: job security, health, having hard conversations about race & safety. Days where you literally wish for bed time because the days have felt soooo long and you wish for normalcy again.
If this sounds like you, I am so sure you are not alone. We are ALL dealing in our own way, on our own time. Many are angry they haven’t been able to see family. Many are sad they haven’t been able to celebrate their babies’ birthdays with a huge party. And many are just going with the motions day after day.
I know us mothers are probably tired of washing the dishes 30x a day because everyone seems to be home (if you get to work from home) and eating every 5 seconds. (Somebody take away all the snacks please) I know I am and that’s totally okay.
The things goin’ on in the world are important and NEED to be talked about however, it’s okay to shut off the rest of the world and focus on YOU. Focus on Your Babies. Your Spouse. Your dogs, Your home. Your Peace.
And that’s exactly what I did today. I didn’t post on my stories. I didn’t work my business. I didn’t yell at my kids to pick up their messes. I shut the world off for just a little while. I did a whole Soul- Care day on a WEDNESDAY! I stayed hydrated. I took an EXTRA LONG SHOWER, used my amazing skincare products, cuddled my babies, played in the dirt, baked a delicious lemon cake, and just breathed.
I will take this time to remind you to take care of YOU. Because if you don’t take care of yourself, than you won’t be at your best to take care of those around you. (Your mind and your body will thank you later. (winky face)
I think we get so caught up with how fast or slow our world is moving that we end up feeling like we’re drowning and can’t seem to catch a break to take a deep breath. But once we realize that’s what we need, we stop seeing only the bad that’s happening around us and we start realizing how blessed we truly are.
I know I am so blessed that my family is healthy and happy. My husband still has a job. I started a new business. We have a comfortable home. Even though sometimes all we see is darkness, God always shows us that little bit of light to make us rejoice in him again.
Faith OVER fear for the WIN!
Now, in the meantime, after an as needed RESET, let’s remember to continue praying and start donating to reputable charities that continue to fight for the following issues!
Black Lives Matter
Save our children
ICE Family Seperation
Covid-19 Frontline Workers
Let’s continue to take care of ourselves and others. Spread love and awareness.